03 March 2008

2 urgent dispatches

John Dies At The End is
a) going to be made into A FUCKING MOVIE (a1 is THERE'S A BOOK! ON AMAZON! WHICH I HAVE ORDERED ALREADY!)
and
b) there's a sequel!

"This here is Molly. She was a good dog. And when I say 'good dog' I don't mean it the way other people mean it, when they're talking about a dog that never shit on the floor or bit their kids. No, I'm talking about a dog that died saving Amy's life. By my rough count, that's half a dozen times Molly saved one of our lives. How many dogs can say that? Hell, how many people can say that? One time, Dave was in a burning building, and Molly here rescued him by getting behind the wheel of his car and driving into the building. You know that couldn't have been easy for her.

Anyhow, Molly died, in the way that all really good things die, fast and brutal and for no apparent reason. They say that even though it often appears that God just really, really doesn't give a shit about what happens here, that that's just an illusion and that He really does care after all, and that it's all part of his great plan to make it appear that He doesn't give a shit. Though what fucking point that serves I can't possibly imagine. I think God probably just wanted Molly for Himself, and I guess I can't blame Him.

So, here you go, God. Here's your dog back, I guess. We hereby commit Molly to doggy heaven, which is probably nicer than regular heaven, if you think about it. Amen."



ninjedit: while I was bummed out that Molly died in the sequel, I have hopes that Wong will bring her back in some non-evil and horrible way. I discovered JDatE during the aftermath of Hurricane Wilma and I read it on my fucking blackberry, which was the only internet-connected device I had (because I could charge it in the car).

Also, Eden is in town and I stole his tiny hat!

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