26 August 2008
25 August 2008
2 weeks ago last thurs
i finally stopped hating my personal little slice of hurt in the world, thursday 2 weeks ago at 2am.
18 August 2008
The perenial favorite
Tropical storm, nee Hurricane Fay (by the time it hits land should be a 'cane. maybe. possibly.) is dropping a lot of rain down. The mrs is remarkably calm, as is the dog -- no thunder and lightning and ergo they're coo'. The cable's out (fuck you directv, fuck you right in the ass) but power's on, so it's strictly a DSL/DVD/videogame/ipod night of entertainment. Waiting for it to stop raining for like 5 minutes so the fucking dog can fucking pee, poor little dude.
There's a few things I still wanted to get, but nothing I direly *needed* so I guess everything's OK. A big box o' tapes in the garage got soaked but I pulled all the priceless and irreplaceable stuff (e.g. jammin' with bert and cap'n, deadline poet, a band apart) out when I put the box there. Need to xfer that soonish.
There's a few things I still wanted to get, but nothing I direly *needed* so I guess everything's OK. A big box o' tapes in the garage got soaked but I pulled all the priceless and irreplaceable stuff (e.g. jammin' with bert and cap'n, deadline poet, a band apart) out when I put the box there. Need to xfer that soonish.
13 August 2008
everything happens to me
Sterling had Michaelangelo today at 11ish am.
Picked up "Monk Alone": 2.5 hours of Thelonious Monk on the piano alone. It's a little bit like going mad in heaven. He does some standards and things you wouldn't expect ("everything happens to me", "just a gigolo") in his inimitable style. I really try to play guitar like he plays piano but god it's like planning to fall down the stairs: you can't do it naturally without fucking up. The odd accents, the pauses and embellishments.
"Between The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea" and the four (!) versions of "everything happens to me" are just too. fucking. hardcore.
Picked up "Monk Alone": 2.5 hours of Thelonious Monk on the piano alone. It's a little bit like going mad in heaven. He does some standards and things you wouldn't expect ("everything happens to me", "just a gigolo") in his inimitable style. I really try to play guitar like he plays piano but god it's like planning to fall down the stairs: you can't do it naturally without fucking up. The odd accents, the pauses and embellishments.
"Between The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea" and the four (!) versions of "everything happens to me" are just too. fucking. hardcore.
06 August 2008
more proof i am a bad person
so eden calls me up. "your favorite person is back in miami." "would you be friends again...it was a long time ago, he's a different person, blahblhablhablhablah"
i don't care anymore. i mean, it would be cool if i could trust people again. it would be nice to be able to make friends without pulling fucking teeth. but nothing's going to undo that, so why bother? to pretend he wasn't a bad person? to act like I'm and he's OK and everything's cool? I might as well call the bee up and say lets play pool or whatever. which again, pa' que? i dunno. Eden's acting like he throws me into a rage, but it's really kind of worse because i feel nothing. He didn't care then, so why fake it now? I dont' get it. Indifference, which man...fuck I tried with that guy man. Afterwards, I mean. I tried the hardest and he just fucking threw it in my fucking face. So karma can take of that, I guess.
also, sun's mad at me now and i don't know why. but i guess i'm enough of an asshole that asking for a specific reason is kind of silly. putting me off for weeks with 'don't want to talk' which i know what it's like but then hangs with tai or mei? girl things, i don't know. and I don't even know if it's me or not. asking just makes it worse without explaining anything.
oh and laurachicken gets brain surgery soonish.
and i find out the sex this weekkkkkkkkkkkkk
finally three days later my leg stopped hurting although last night more stabbing pains. i think about vic, you know. i mean, he was fine that week. put in a full day and we said later and i left him working on some windows shit with W and poof he's gone. i gotta set things up for in case i shuffle off this mortal coil. I think of Dee and her bloodclot in her leg.
i don't care anymore. i mean, it would be cool if i could trust people again. it would be nice to be able to make friends without pulling fucking teeth. but nothing's going to undo that, so why bother? to pretend he wasn't a bad person? to act like I'm and he's OK and everything's cool? I might as well call the bee up and say lets play pool or whatever. which again, pa' que? i dunno. Eden's acting like he throws me into a rage, but it's really kind of worse because i feel nothing. He didn't care then, so why fake it now? I dont' get it. Indifference, which man...fuck I tried with that guy man. Afterwards, I mean. I tried the hardest and he just fucking threw it in my fucking face. So karma can take of that, I guess.
also, sun's mad at me now and i don't know why. but i guess i'm enough of an asshole that asking for a specific reason is kind of silly. putting me off for weeks with 'don't want to talk' which i know what it's like but then hangs with tai or mei? girl things, i don't know. and I don't even know if it's me or not. asking just makes it worse without explaining anything.
oh and laurachicken gets brain surgery soonish.
and i find out the sex this weekkkkkkkkkkkkk
finally three days later my leg stopped hurting although last night more stabbing pains. i think about vic, you know. i mean, he was fine that week. put in a full day and we said later and i left him working on some windows shit with W and poof he's gone. i gotta set things up for in case i shuffle off this mortal coil. I think of Dee and her bloodclot in her leg.
04 August 2008
the funny part is that there was a storm
so i tell my friend Little Trouble Girl that my right nut's been itching all day off and on.
she says "maybe a storm's comin' "
The thing you sell yourself
My friends, my family, I me mine. they are all stuck in love. :/
it's late. i will go to sleep soon, but i am lucky. and i have reason for sadness and guilt and laughter and happiness. I can't really explain it without giving too much away. And there's some of the sadness.
Wrote some songs, writing some fiction, making some plans and now Summer coming to a close, sun's gone, mills' too in a different way, mei-mei and tai-tai too although we're in town (but you can't force someone to be friends, so...). I am perhaps just unlikeable.
January comes too slow and too soon both at once.
it's late. i will go to sleep soon, but i am lucky. and i have reason for sadness and guilt and laughter and happiness. I can't really explain it without giving too much away. And there's some of the sadness.
Wrote some songs, writing some fiction, making some plans and now Summer coming to a close, sun's gone, mills' too in a different way, mei-mei and tai-tai too although we're in town (but you can't force someone to be friends, so...). I am perhaps just unlikeable.
January comes too slow and too soon both at once.
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