21 March 2008

improv sheet music for sale

played at the thing at soya and pomawhatever on 1st and 1st NE. it was rockin'. or more ambient. whatever. it was fun; nestor tweaked what i played live and bunny dropped live video. the crafty witch showed up looking good enough to eat, nicole also looking gorgeous and i think i ticked the lovely emily off yet again. got to play the fat tele live tho. swa-eet. i think i'm going to call that augmented chord shape song (xx231x) "i hope you die in a fire in the gaping maw of your cunt". really it's just an excuse to use the phrase gaping maw.

15 March 2008

hills like white elephants

So I come in to the restaurant and sit down and say "Hey! Sorry I'm late, your tits look great!"
To which she says: "They should, I'm pregnant."

She had broken up with her boyfriend recently, just...differences, you know? and the short version is that one time a month ago they fucked up, and now my friend is getting an abortion, and is horrified and guilty and I feel sorrow for her. It's the right choice for her, and it's excruciating bordering on the unbearable for her to choose this.

I've had other people in my life who had them -- a high school friend during my Christian phase who was afraid to tell me because she thought I would take it poorly, another was someone I drove ~400 miles to see because of it1,2 (and she'd gotten another one I wasn't supposed to know about, but we never spoke of it obviously) and then another who drunk on her birthday while talking about a mutual friend having a baby just dropped it in conversation matter-of-factly (in front of her current husband) about how she'd had one when 18. It's heart-wrenching, it really is. Necessary and liberating in a way, and in many cases, it's the only way that makes any sense. But still.

1 If you're still reading: you know who you are. Are you still reading? I wonder sometimes. I stopped trying to check; I figure if you can't tell me, you just can't.
2 Technically, I went to cheer her up because of heartbreak. The Legendary Pink Dots' song "Home" reminds me of this period, and I cannot listen to it more than once or twice a year (which sucks because it's on my favorite LPD album, "The Maria Dimension"), because listening to it instantly brings me back to waking up slowly with the light, dim in the morning and the traffic slowly waking up and my back stiff from the mattress on the floor, the cat freaked out.

13 March 2008

don't listen to too much current 93

“The world breaks everyone, and afterwards many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills - it kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave, impartially. If you are none of these, you can be sure it will kill you, too, but there will be no special hurry.” -Ernest Hemingway

05 March 2008

"Murio con flores"

Vic's gone, heart attack at 35 on Sunday night/Monday morning I guess. Met his folks, the wake was really hardcore. "You were his friends to the end", the body didn't look like him at all but made it more real to me, it's stopped feeling like a bad joke all the time, like the most ridiculous thing that he's gone, forever.

03 March 2008

2 urgent dispatches

John Dies At The End is
a) going to be made into A FUCKING MOVIE (a1 is THERE'S A BOOK! ON AMAZON! WHICH I HAVE ORDERED ALREADY!)
and
b) there's a sequel!

"This here is Molly. She was a good dog. And when I say 'good dog' I don't mean it the way other people mean it, when they're talking about a dog that never shit on the floor or bit their kids. No, I'm talking about a dog that died saving Amy's life. By my rough count, that's half a dozen times Molly saved one of our lives. How many dogs can say that? Hell, how many people can say that? One time, Dave was in a burning building, and Molly here rescued him by getting behind the wheel of his car and driving into the building. You know that couldn't have been easy for her.

Anyhow, Molly died, in the way that all really good things die, fast and brutal and for no apparent reason. They say that even though it often appears that God just really, really doesn't give a shit about what happens here, that that's just an illusion and that He really does care after all, and that it's all part of his great plan to make it appear that He doesn't give a shit. Though what fucking point that serves I can't possibly imagine. I think God probably just wanted Molly for Himself, and I guess I can't blame Him.

So, here you go, God. Here's your dog back, I guess. We hereby commit Molly to doggy heaven, which is probably nicer than regular heaven, if you think about it. Amen."



ninjedit: while I was bummed out that Molly died in the sequel, I have hopes that Wong will bring her back in some non-evil and horrible way. I discovered JDatE during the aftermath of Hurricane Wilma and I read it on my fucking blackberry, which was the only internet-connected device I had (because I could charge it in the car).

Also, Eden is in town and I stole his tiny hat!