18 January 2008

dream 18jan2008

walking in a hallway dark not scary but dim and then with b, into a cafeteria-looking room and we have been looking for something but not finding it, and she is in trouble for killing a man and we're not friends but not enemies either and things are tense and awkward and i want it to be unfuckedup and friends because she needs help and i could do something and i hate feeling like this, compromised into being unable to be friends, but can't forgive without some sign of friendship, or caring, and there's just words and platitudes and i do not want to be here but am forced to (the way that you don't know why you have to do something in a dream but you just know it) so i do it and the tension is worse but i'm not angry just sad, overwhelmingly sad, and it's dim like we're where even sadness is something to see and the look on her face is best described as vexed or "i know something needs to be done but i don't know what" and i wake.

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