memories can't wait.

Erasing selective memories coming closer

One day it'll be a choice. I don't like it. I mean, the flexibility is nice to have -- especially for something traumatic that you just want to get rid of; war, rape etc etc. But part of your job in existence is to be witness and to work through your pain and evolve yourself. And I can see this being used nefariously -- and not just in a paranoid Phillip K. Dick dystopian future kind of way, either.

I had (or have? I dunno. We're still "friends" on facebook) a friend who called me up. Let us call her Agnes. She had broken up with the love of her life because shit happened and anyway, time heals wounds etc etc and several years and a marriage later she gets an email from him out of the blue "i fucked up, you were great, if you're still angry I don't blame you but i just wanted to tell you i know you were great" etc. Long story short, they got back together (and are still,) and as far as I know are deliriously happy together. Which is all well and good -- forgiveness is a nice thing, after all, and happiness is a bitch to find, so you gotta work for it. Except about two months into their newfound love she calls me out of the blue saying "hey how do you permanently delete files from a Mac?". I tell her and hang up and then go "Wait. She doesn't have a Mac." But I know my friend, and on a hunch (I'm usually really good at these) I call back and tell her off for deleting his pictures of his ex from his computer. Quite frankly, I feel a bit used and dirty and I am Seriously Unhappy about this, so perhaps I am less than nice. She gets mad, tells me he's backing up the pictures later (...but she's deleting them now...? just distraction BS...) and anyway I don't know the situation. I tell her that it's hardly fair for her to decide what memories he gets to keep, because they're his memories, after all. She gets mad and repeats that I do not know the circumstances, and I say she's right, mea culpa, if I'm wrong, please forgive me. She says nevermind and it's ok, don't worry about it and since then we haven't spoken. Which leads me to believe that I was right. But enough about that.

So now think of someone demanding this of you, literally of your memories. Or doing it against your will. Note that one of the reasons given for not freeing some of the Guantanamo Bay prisoners is not "they're dangerous terrorists and we can't let them go" but rather "they're totally innocent but they know too much about our information extraction (viz, torture) methods to be let go".

Here, have some sonic yoof "Nevermind (what was it anyway)":


Sleep tight, kids.

Set Theory Primer

I just stumbled on a site about Set Theory Primer as it relates to music theory. Which reminds me of my favorite story about music I wrote that no one ever heard.

Bunny called me up, "hey there's a gallery opening, we're doing a music/performance/installation -- the theme of the gallery is Summerian/Babylonian art, they're showing some pieces etc etc"

I dig Sumer, cradle of civilization etc etc and I've read through Snow Crash so I know just a bit more than nothing about their language construction (atonal glosolalia? or some shit. doesn't matter, i'm not writing poetry). So I look up Summerian music. Turns out it uses a 60-tone scale. Because I am S-M-R-T smart, I figure OK, I can make music akin to atonal 12-tone theory pieces, but I have to use 1/2 and 1/4 microtones (ie, bends and half-bends) and viola, 12-tone automagically becomes 60-tone. So I write this long droning piece in an open D tuning and because it would be a bitch to be bending whole chords (although you get some really awesome dissonances, some sonic youth/glenn branca shit going on where the notes beat against each other in the air) I go and get me a slide. So it's like this blues hawaiian indian drone monster thing. It's made of pure, concentrated awesome.

And then the day of the show, come to find out they go on an hour before they said they would and also that the music has been relegated to the alley behind the gallery. Which is OK, since that's where the party people's at anyway. Ran into solo and other people from the wayback.

in which

in which Sterling provides an apt summary:
"I consider it my personal Vietnam. If I had gone in and struck hard and fast and all in one go, none of that shit would have gone down. But because I didn't, because I took it slow, I sabotaged myself. And I think it was because [removed]."
"...So you consider it all your fault?"
"Yes."
"And none of it would have happened and [removed] would still be friends with [removed]."
"That's what I'm saying."
"Wow, that's a lot of guilt."

in which Laura considers the possibility that there may be a better way to handle situations
Laura: so, he is right. we do need more time. though i think he went about it totally wrong. but, i do realize he doesnt have the emotional capability/tact that i hhave :P
(erm, maybe i dont always hav tact)
David: like when you laughed at [laura's ex-boyfriend]'s naked erection?
Laura: yes :(
David: some people might say that was .... less than fully tactful


in which Little Trouble Girl summarizes her complex love life:
"So I'm going to see my husband in the hospital, but I stopped by to have lunch with my boyfriend -- that I'm not having sex with because he's married -- to tell him about how I didn't get laid last night with my coworker/crush because he couldn't get it hard despite a long blowjob and to complain about how my fuckbuddy just left for [unnamed country] which is good because we might be developing feelings for each other. Which would be bad."

in which i make an ass of myself at a party:
"dude i was in college when you were still sucking your momma's dick!"
"you know my mom's dead, right?"

I made mistakes in my life, all things go, all things go

Today, I talked to a friend, didn't get to finish my soup, got to listen to schlocky rock (or jazz? I don't know, bruce hornsby is very jazz-lite, but then again he's done rock too), went to miami beach despite boat show traffic, avoided getting scammed, walked on the beach and got new shoes wet in the surf, saw a wedding i was not a party to, made excellent falafel (hint: before you roll them into balls/patties, drop chopped cilantro/dill and a wee bit of hot sauce into the dough/mix. also, if you fry at medium-low heat they take longer but dry out less,) and had a heavier-than-i-would-have-liked mediterranean dinner (falafel, tzaziki, stuffed grape leaves, flatbread, kaseri cheese). finish the day off by noticing that i never filled out my valentine's card i bought the mrs so spent 15 minutes on something that will make her smile in the morning.

Listened to a lot of Sufjan Stevens today -- picked up The Avalanche on a whim at a used CD store (yeah, I still buy CDs, I'm all quaint) and was blown away. Bought Illinoise just for Casimir Pulaski Day but am enjoying other songs on there. The Avalanche CD is more enjoyable at the moment though; the three versions of Chicago, the supercomputer song, it's all jawsome!great. I even went and learned me some guiterchords for 'em.

the same thing i would want today i will want again tomorrow

I just heard, in quick succession:
Dylan trying to teach The Band "Po' Lazarus" (it occured to me that po' lazarus might be where part of the Stagolee mtyh gets it's power),
the harry smith field recording of prisoners singing "po lazarus",
dylan's "goin' to acapulco"
dylan's "boots of spanish leather" (random cover from youtube: here...I have no idea who that is. actually, ignore that, here's pix of dylan while the original plays: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTCFhS7IIgM)

I'm not - by any means - a huge dylan fanatic, but it occurs that the scorsese quote re: akira kurosawa about one being able to debate which works are Great and which are merely very very very good, would also apply to dylan's songs.

I'm joining the RPM Challenge with Navel4Eve, here's hoping it doesn't suck. More info next month, wish me luck.

Yesterday, Vero called me up asking how I made my curry sauce ("uh, curry powder and sour cream. a little mayo if you want it tastier but that makes it fattier and greasier.") and it reminded me that I have posted the recipe for my (world-famous) grilled cheese sammich before, but never here, so here it is:

get you:
3 cheeses -- 2 slices of something white (say a meunster or swiss), 2 slices something yellow (cheddar or american) and about 3 spoonful's worth of feta (bleu works too).
bread -- sliced, i recommend rye.
1 tomato slice, 1/2" thick (can be replaced by onion)
butter
1 clove garlic
2 spoon's worth of olive oil
optional: bacon, olives, mushrooms.

butter a slice of bread, drop half a spoonful of butter in a pan with 1 spoonful of olive oil, coat the bottom of the pan and then put the bread in it. medium-low heat -- you're gonna be here a while. put the meunster on the bread. get your tomato slice and poke out the slimy shit in it (seeds pulp etc) so that you have a tomato-spoke. lay on the muenster cheese and fill the empty tomato spokes with the feta. put the slices of cheddar on top of that. lay the other slice of bread on top and butter it. to ensure the cooking side doesn't stick, shake the pan and the weight of the sandwich should shift it. while you wait for it to brown, take your garlic and slice it thin like you've been watchin' goodfellas too much. flip yr sammich and press some of the garlic slices into the bread. while the raw side cooks, wait. sing a song or something. when it's done, flip (so the garlic on top caramelizes a bit) and press the garlic slices that are left into the bread. drizzle half a teaspoon of olive oil on top and flip again, drizzle the oil that remains and serve. wait at least a minute before cutting it or you're gonna get cheese soup. Which is hard to eat inside a sandwich.

you can replace (or augment) the feta with olives (or olive tapenade,) mushrooms and/or bacon.

If you made it right, it's about an inch and a half thick, and a fucking hearty brick to keep your gut happy.

you want the tomato slice to be thick -- about 1/2" or so -- so that the tomato itself doesn't get hot. the cheese next to the bread will melt the feta, but if the tomato's thick, it won't cook very much and you will therefore have an island of cool, refreshing vegetable in a sea of molten deliciousness.

when i stepped into the water, i slipped and broke my aura...

I don't know. This at home, in the heart, complex and annoying. Feeling ...not broken, but pathetic, bathetic. Sterling's preggers, Sun's home, Avery is huge, my mother thinks I hate her or I'm a jerk, I don't really know anymore. hot sub w/ sun earlier. she's way cool and outta all the girls probably the one I am most comfortable with. I love taitai and meimei and sterling, but sun's a good mix of them all. i think in jan i will go with mills to get my tattoo. she's gotta decide what she wants though...I'm getting a new tele tomorrow, I hope. I am giving the SG to Mei-mei to fuck with, the pickguard to either sun or tai-tai. new guitars are funfunfun, always leads you somewhere else, like a new girl or a new car or a new way home.

I have a dog now, he is cute and small and I am responsible for him. I hope to get a cat sooner rather than later; a jellicle for preference (gonna name her "Sally Pimienta").

talked to eden like 4 or 5 times in the last week; things are rough on his end vis-a-vis V. which sucks, he's had it rough sometimes. he was very sincere and sorry about getting out of touch with us all, said thanks for me trying to keep in touch with him since he didn't know how to start things. he's spoken to solo and bunny and will probably maybe this time come to miami. I dunno. Told me Mo's living in O-town and they don't really hang or speak. eden talks to mike now and again tho..

while moving I found some boxes with pictures. i feel distant from them, they don't really touch me anymore...I don't know how to feel about that.

good books: world war Z, that dylan bio I'm xmas'ing away, the last postsecret book mills gave me for xmas
good music: night ripper by girl talk -- all samples...shit, it's like "paul's boutique" all over again; coil's "the ape of naples" which i re-listened to because bunny hooked me up with coil bootlegs and i ran into an interview with sleazy from last year about all the shit since balance died...oh and the new fucking daft punk album is so fucking hot it glows

vignette: eden's gf at the time lived on sunset, i go with him to hang, her gay friend says hello -- i am broken and falldown ebcause of mo. i leave the party and go to his old pad with ron -- rose was there even then -- and tell him our friendship's over. he tells rose that if it's her fault...blahblahblah. i tell him it's his fault, it's about b but more about how he didn't tell me. i leave and go back to the party. the girlfriend's gay friend tells me my aura has changed color dramatically -- from orange/red to green (or other way? I don't remember the colors he said). I tell eden and tell him what happened.

thxgiving update

vacation: sucked, I worked on the house and w/ the fam (jesus they are tireless)

work: I am a hero and an unsung rockstar of unprecedented caliber. we had a server -- the one and only web server, the one that has hard drives that grriiiiiiiinnnnnddddd when they spin up and has therefore not been turned off for 5 years and then because of a power failure, and not been updated for about 10 years -- have it's PSU blow up and catch fire. despite this, I was able to get us working (hobbled, but hey) for the few days it took to get the machine repaired.


i bought a jawesome! map in a magnelephant frame at my dad's neighbors' moving out garage sale. my ex-landlord is in foreclosure and I picked up 3 GTA games for 30 bux.

this morning i dreamt that had gone to sleep late (i had) and got woken up by my cell and it was she calling to say there were things unsaid. i never got to hear them because the alarm went off.

I'm a little pimp with my hair slicked back

"willie the pimp" from Zappa's "Hot Rats" album, which I first bought in DC when I lived there with my dad. I loved the feeling of walking down the streets with the cherry blossoms still gleaming white and the heat coming down hard. Awesome guitar solo and Captain Beefheart singing. HOT BEEF! HOT RATS! WOO-WOO-WOOT!

do you always look so angry when driving?

A slide to x 0 11 x x x

d 2-11-9-11- chord x 0 11 9 9 x
a 0--0-0--0-

x 0 7 7 7 x x cascade on the e and b strings :
e 10 8 7
b --------10 8 7
g -----------------9

then E (VII) then D (V) chords then i don't know

F#m?

The weather's been gorgeous lately. Yesterday as I left work in the afternoon, the breeze was just perfect, the sky was the light blue filled with perfect white clouds and just to the south the moon was visible even though it was still daylight. Windy days used to remind me of being in love in school, climbing the hills and smoking, listening to tori and ministry and singing the cure. Now it just reminds me of itself. "What do fish remind you of?" "Other fish."

hunting, central FL, exec summary

2 boar, very hot, hunting from a swamp buggy is different from hunting on the ground, especially with dogs that will NOT still worrying the boar...also: perfect weather, remember to compare and contrast the still hour of 4am when coming to it by staying up or coming to it by /waking/ up, that country music can be considered just about anything and that gator meat smells fetid.

who's got the happy bag?

2nd performance at the whauses; didn't actually play guitar but did live video while bunny ran off to drink beer and whatever else and dj ipod dropped aphex and autechre next to nicole mixing in wicked shit with the chaos pad. nel and her boyfriend showed up; this one is normal-ish and apparently not bad for her. which is a refreshing change. saw solo, life's been rough lately looks like, but he's still hanging on. motherfucker escaped his country on horseback, so playa can take the hits i guess. i kept getting "who's got the happy bag" cos the little green bag was next to me and i didn't even know it. dude standing next to me going "whoa" and giggling in a disturbing way for like 15 minutes while i faded the video in and out and fluttered the nature footage.

as i live and breathe you have killed me

best Saturday ever? in the last 24 hours, I have:

• played a show with olde friendes (see previous entry)
  
• seen the new harry potter movie (shut up)
• gotten drunk dialed by saltdog again at 4 in the afternoon, who hung up on me while telling his girl "hey you wanna have hogwarts sex? i got my magic wand..."
• gone to a morrissey show with laura squirt; despite getting lost (twice) and the long ass drive it was so fucking worth it. They played "please please please let me get what i want" and "the boy with the thorn in his side" and "girlfriend in a coma". also, it was like a guitar-porn orgy up there: gretsch's, tele's (fat and classic), hollowbodies, a firebird (during "how soon is now?"), some custom strat-style thing with a hole in the headstock (maybe alternate tuning system? boz boorer beat the fuck out of it. heard two new songs "all you need is me" and "that's how people grow up" which were great and had a lot of really dry humor.
  
• speaking of the show, i walked in and stood in the aisle for like 2 seconds and got a slap on the arm: it was nelly and savina (and savina's Mr, first i meet him) who I haven't seen in forever and ever (literally: savi now has 2 kids and last i saw her she was preggers with the first. who is now 7 years old. nelly is still crazy. loveable, sweet, still hunched over and a lot more tattoo'd, but crazy as fuck.)
  
• long phone convo and plans to hang tomorrow with litltrublgrl

Best part of the moz show: everyone, absolutely everyone in the audience singing along to "girlfriend in a coma". A sense of maybe not unity but a general "yeah we're all here and having fun". Of course, 30 minutes later the boorish drunks started getting annoying...

The Ubiquitous Mr Lovegrove

I miss you too. If you'd been able to see me as a person, we'd still be friends.

Happy independence day.

low end theory

so, bass. yeah. haven't played in a rock band in so long, it feels really nice. they are indeed a good group. we are a good group. very individual each of us, likeable and worth knowing. the songs have some very specific parts but are in general kind of open -- just basic "these are the chords, this is the melody...321GO". Show on friday which I was going to have to miss due to Orlando, but now maybe I can play on Friday...things are still up in the air vis-a-vis that. i find myself thinking of my conversation with johann hz about the bass and the deepness of it. i love that one really low note with it's overtones, just fills out a room, harmonically. My A-string was weak on the open note, I don't know if that was the pickups on the P-bass fucking up (they are 20 years old...) or the amp's EQ cutting that A440 out.

Found out who the CD is dedicated to; friend of Davis' who went into a coma and died. Reminded me of Injun Joe; Eden told me after Joe got into his coma from getting hit by the semi on his motorcycle that his girlfriend at the time tried to talk to him and stuff -- he was in a coma for like 2 years -- and he would cry when she put headphones on him and played him his fave song by Dead Can Dance. Such a good kid. Death at random is just...I don't know, kind of insulting. I mean, it really drives home the point that you're just another animal alive at the whim of chance and on the sufferance of circumstance.

Le petit morte

My Bloody Valentine's "Loveless" is the most intense music to have sex to, ever. 4 days later and I still have a headache. I can't describe it more than to say it's a lot of overwhelming, and it made me feel every single moment in slow motion. Beats Acid Mother Temple's "La Novia" and Miles' "Kind of Blue" hands-down. The tantric breathing might have helped, though. cf: convo w/ lisbert w/r/t the french calling the orgasm "the little death" circa 97? before our big falling out ages ago.

I saved my cousin Veronica's life when I was 9 and she was i want to say 5; pulled her out of the pool by her hair. Hans, Tio Mel's Shepherd, just standing there, Michelle confused and screaming. Tio Mel going WTFWTF and he pulled her out of the water. I don't know why summer reminds me of that.

Dream: 8jun07 high school classrooms, the hall next to the band room, one of the piano labs is now a business office and ex-co-workers are there telling me how much they miss my company¹. Leave and into hallway B walks fast and pointedly does not make eye contact with me; i can feel the fury in her movements. Amusingly everyone is dressed in Victorian clothing. There's something about cars -- a trans am? something like that -- and a double bass is involved somewhere. Something weird about geometry in the dream, spatial relationships -- walls, floors, hallways etc -- keep shifting. It's off-putting. I wake confused.

Birthdays past and birthdays coming up...must remember to remember. Or something.

Segue: Nikola Tesla, synesthete, genius and all around weirdo has been on my mind of late.<sup>2

1</sup> Actually this is correct. Vij has lamented to me how it's no fun anymore, whereas most everyone else is all "so things are better without D around, eh?" No one really appreciates the curative powers of levity; my main function those last weeks was keeping V from hating the job as much as I did.

² That's a snippet from some show. Full show is here: pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4

I sent mine in. It's the photo of us smiling at the Days' Inn, playing pool.

I went to the postsecret exhibit in the Design District in Miami today. Lots of very moving postcards, some more than others.



It was really neat seeing a whole bunch lined up, the handwriting on them, so beautiful and sad and happy.

I will be in the bar, with my head, on the bar.

Since Mills is going to go to TN soonish, I like hanging out with her before that happens. She likes the key lime pie at the dive bar, chez b's, so that's where we go. honestly the pie's just kind of OK. I prefer key lime to be a bit fluffier, but whatever. So haven't seen Mills in shit like two weeks and we made plans to meet there for dinner, rocking out the chicken strips and pie. She tell me about her divorce BS, I tell her mine, she tells me her job quitting thing, I tell her mine, and et viola, the actress' ghost comes in. I am fine after a few, and Mills, bless her heart, offers to be mean to her for me. I'm still counting on karma to do it for me, so I hold that back. After a while my faithful serpent's sullen look bores me and I'm laughing with Mills again. After we settle up, as we're leaving, I go past the store and there's Tai-tai & Dutch w/ the kid who is literally shit-you-not The Cutest Fucking Baby Ever. Got that angry pink sheen from her momma. I want to tell my faithful serpent how pretty the baby is and how sad it is that they're not friends anymore, but I don't think she'd see it as a comment but an attack. So the safer, more polite course of action takes precedence and just say nothing. I hope her karma doesn't fuck her up too bad; there's a good person under all that acting, somewhere. Stace thinks I'm a chump. She's right. A chump and a soft touch. Not on that matter. I'm just sad about it. It's like...I can't even describe it. It's like every bad thing you've ever thought about yourself is shown to you, in personally painful and graphic detail, to be absolutely true. Think about every moment you've been down or doubtful about yourself.



Yeah, like that.



After a quick discussion vis-a-vis breastfeeding and leaky breasts, we all dip since Avery's gettin' hungry and Stace ain't gonna whip 'em out right then and there. Tai-tai says Mills and I should have a kid. We've discussed it but let's see how that TN thing works out, eh? Also, I wanna see how the Little Trouble Girl thing pans out. She got hammered and drunk dialed me last night, very cute, very funny. 2nd drunk dial in recent memory.



Work gets slowly more hostile as I ride out my last days since I gave notice; very strange -- since the jax guys hanging around more even they have commented how I appear to be persona non grata. Also, we recieved a bomb threat today. Warning email was very vague and

not followed up, it's like our communications office is trying to incite panic. In some ways I'm kind of torn about leaving, cos now with the net TRIPLING in size, that's fucking exciting to contemplate -- a whole redesign from scratch on a net that's fucking huge, shit there are smaller cities! And yet, I know I'm doing the right thing. I need to get out of my comfort zone, even if it means Windows and a smaller network.





Made another Moz mix for the car while at the 'rents fixing their computard, maybe post that later.

I mighta been born yesterday but I stayed up all night

God's in the strangest places. To wit: two days ago everyone had dipped but me & vij, so we hit lunch together at the chinese joint with Ang and Necu -- they dipped early cos they had a meeting to go to -- and wound up sitting briefly with a prominent geneticist (no links because this is a a personal blog blahblahblah but he's SMRT for realz and a big-wig nationally in his field) and wound up having a discussion about religion and it's role in science. For someone who'd put science in such focus in his life, he was remarkably open-minded about religion (paraphrasing, but along the lines of "to be as adamant about the non-existance of god as a lot of atheists are seems kind of closed-minded, especially if you're a scientist and supposed to be figuring things out, not just assuming they are the way you want"). Dude was totally cool and more relaxed than I'd seen him otherwise, although to be fair, other times I'd seen him had been during emergencies, so uh yeah, I get frazzled too.

He also went into a tangent about astrology -- as an example, i think, i forget how we got into it as a subject -- and how maybe it isn't planets or what-have-you, but rather the general temperature patterns during gestation that affect personalities, IE, gemini's are bastards, cancers are sensitive etc etc because during gestation they had colder or hotter womb temp averages, and he had seen in his own work how minute temperature changes in utero or in vitro could affect outcomes drastically and dramatically. Interesting thought.

post title courtesy El Producto's new album, "I'll sleep when you're dead", which is still growing on me. Good, but so far I like "Fantastic Damage" more (although the Trent Reznor guest spot was weird on the new one).

Mawwige, twue wuv.

Rose left. Been speaking to the Little Trouble Girl, playing guitar by myself and drinking wine. Hung out with the Crafty Witch, made my world-famous (that's not an exagerration) grilled cheese sammiches, tried her tapenade, watched "The Wicker Man" and played guitar and got to meet her friend Sunny and then we discussed relationships and love and marriage. I don't know. I think she's ugh about marriage because the commitment is just a big scary thing and feels dishonest to say "forever, you and only you" especially about love, because the heart is such a fickle fucking cat. But I never really thought that marriage was about that, at least not by the time I got to thinking about that. I don't know that I got across that I didn't think that marriage had to be about that, but it was like she just didn't want to think about marriage not being about love forever and every monogamy. Which, I'm no advocate for polyamory specifically, in whatever flavors it comes in, but from what I know of her specific feelings about monogamy, and the legalities of marriage, it sounds like the only way she could have a relationship (not specifically marriage) for a longer period of time and not get all heartbroken and insane.

But then again, consider my folks' marriage. I dunno. Dysfunction vs just putting up w/ it?

Buddhism's suffering-stems-from-desire totally makes sense, especially when viewed in the context of relationships: every relationship problem I've ever even heard of has been the result of what A wants and what B wants differing and that not being made absolutely clear because communication between them having been less than clear. A good friend of mine broke up with his fiancee because he wanted kids and she absolutely didn't and thankfully they realized this before that marriage happened, and they broke up and he found another chick muuuuch more well suited to his temperament and humor. And she does want kids. So there you have it.

The more I consider it, the more I think that marriage should not be about capital-L Love but about lowercase-l love and a recognized partnership. Comrades-at-arms, with fucking and love. Not some romantic idiocy of the twue-wuv variety thinking that things will always be wine and roses. Part of what makes the joyous moments so sweet is that there are the bitter moments to contrast them against. It can always be so much worse, you know? You hold on to the good and you let go the bad and when it gets really bad you go back to the good and weigh it and decide whether it's enough to stick around for. And part of that marriage thing is just a promise to try really fucking hard. Sometimes you promise yourself, and sometimes you promise the other person, or God, or a judge or whatever. As serious as you make it, man, just like anything else.

I want to tease the crack in you:


Sonic Youth's "Sleepin' Around"

Smashing Pumpkins' "Pennies"